Dear loyal readers,

Please do not jump out of of your 5-story building after reading the alarming post title. The world ain’t over just yet. In fact, I have some great news to share with you. As of Tuesday, December 15, 2009, I officially renew my journey for blogging greatness and transition over to a self-hosted blog. With three weeks off for winter vacation, I feel that the time is ripe. No doubt. It is a big leap of faith.

Yes, you have guessed correctly. I’m divorcing from wordpress in my url and heading my separate ways. No, it was not due to numerous random affairs with super-hot women. In fact, I sincerely enjoyed my three-month marriage with WordPress. It was an amazing experience and a true eye-opener. I have discovered a new passion in writing, an area I have long overlooked for many reasons. In addition, I absolutely love learning about new technologies and pointing out to unsuspecting people that the internet and the world wide web are not the same thing.

Of course, I have taken into account the numerous obstacles ahead. As a college student, time is never a sure thing. Having recently gone through my first college finals, I realize my ability to manage my time is definitely key to maintaining a healthy and successful blog. (Though my business professor and Stephen R. Covey may respectfully disagree with that last statement)

Then there is the issue of money. Carrying a limited existence on the web without the continued payment of money to the greedy web hosts and domain registries, I understand that things are not going to be the same anymore. But with the possibility of success, one must take risks. Sometimes leaving your comfort zone and saying, “I’m not scared anymore!” is what you need to propel yourself to fulfilling goals and develop personally. Running a blog with tremendous content has crossed my mind constantly throughout every day. Now, I am ready to place my plan into action.

The most troubling obstacle I have long pondered is the possibility for the “bloggers’ burnout.” What if I one day sit in front of my computer ready to blog, and have nothing to write? I’m certain every blogger, even the successful ones, have faced this problem. As my 5th grade teacher always said, “Where there is a will, there is a way.” I intend to entertain my readers. I hope to educate people about topics that interest me. I want people to tell there friends and family and neighbor’s cat how wonderful LonePlacebo is. I have many hopes and dreams for LonePlacebo. I’m sure that this will be one heckuva ride. Thanks for reading!

Sincerely,

Tony

The Founder, Editor-in-Chief, CEO, and Chairman

of

LonePlacebo

Head on over to LonePlacebo’s new location!

My failed attempt to mirror Google's logo alterations

It has finally hit me. The burn-out. And I haven’t even reached the expected six-month kill off point. FML.

During the three months here at the cozy, cost-free confines of WordPress, I have enjoyed the knowledge of knowing that there was absolutely no financial burden sitting on my shoulders. Without self-hosting a blog, I didn’t have to pay a dime. That was fine with me… three months ago.

Now, I can contemplate the possibilities of expansion but also the strains of a free blog on WordPress. I regularly visit dozens of blogs and continually stunned by the beautiful design templates and plug-ins incorporated in each respective blog. Restricted from such features and capabilities, I am beginning to seriously consider the prospects of  ”switching sides” for good.

So, what to do? I ask myself whether I have the time, commitment, and determination to continue blogging as I currently do one year from now. It’s a tough question to swallow, no doubt, but the day that LonePlacebo officially divorces from “wordpress” is imminent I tell you.

This past couple of weeks, I have been undergoing a “tremendous” research project to understand all the technicalities necessary to maintain a WordPress.org blog. There is HTML, CSS, Javascript, etc. the list goes on. But, it excites me nevertheless.

During this time, I have also considered laying the LonePlacebo name to rest should I ever decide to own my own domain name. I fear that it will create a helluva mess in the search engine queries, which is a headache not worth experiencing. Furthermore, if I create a new name, it requires necessarily, a new logo. My sorely lacking Photoshop skills may hinder the possibilities of creating an image worthy of people’s attention.

All of you WordPress.com bloggers out there: How are you feeling? Misery likes company. LonePlacebo needs your help.

If I have made you miserable, remember to unfollow me on Twitter here. Alternatively, unsubscribe to my RSS feed if you haven’t already.

The Weekly Placebo is a conglomerate of photos, videos, news stories, and other interesting material around the Web. The content is discovered primarily through Digg and StumbleUpon, social news sites displaying the most popular articles online. If you come across something interesting worth sharing, contact me or leave a comment on this post with a link and description.

Photoshop Fun!

Source: Vertustech

Source: Vertustech

If only I could use Photoshop like that…that frog sure looks delicious.

Original Source

Hilarious Video! Darth Vader being a smartass

Having achieved nearly 7 million total views on Youtube, this video is an instant classic. I can’t stop watching it and it kills me every time at the end when Vader looks loooong and hard(that’s what she said!) at the officer as if daring him to speak.

Top Five Tweets of the Week

@TheBloggess

Twitter Bio: I have friends in spite of myself.

@OGOchoCinco

Twitter Bio: see for yoself/www.rocksoftware.com

@shitmydadsays

Twitter Bio: I’m 29. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says

@tremendousnews

Twitter Bio: Don’t follow me if you’re really-really smart. You know when your math teacher asked you to carry the 1? I still don’t know what that means.

@tylerflowers

Twitter Bio: singer/songwriter/assassin

Math Lesson!

This took years to figure out this proof.

Fantastic story!

Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed to Travel Let’s all get together and laugh at those silly Americans and their ignorance. (Sorry, if you are American) (By the way, I’m American)

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Video description: Deer fell into the water at National Zoo Nov 8th, 2009. Deer escaped from the Lions three times before zoo handlers removed the lions to rescue the deer.

At LonePlacebo, I strive for excellence. Rather than making my job easy by embedding an interesting Youtube video and calling it the “Video of the Week,” I decided to include some of the often hilarious comments that other viewers wrote about the video. Do you have a funny thing to say about this video? Then why not share your thoughts in the comments section below.

The Green Bay Packers were devastatingly humiliated by the winless Tampa Bay Buccaneers Sunday, as rookie quarterback Josh Freeman threw for three touchdowns and 205 yards. Freeman became the youngest quarterback to start for Tampa Bay and helped end an NFL-worst losing streak of 11 games. Drafted in the first round as the 17th overall pick and the third quarterback behind Matthew Stafford and Mark Sanchez, Freeman gave Buccaneers fans a reason to hope for better times in the future.

On the opposite side of the football, Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers(4-4) isn’t giving Cheeseheads much of a fun time this season. Though he is the league’s top rated passer, he threw a career-high three interceptions. You can’t really blame him though. Green Bay’s porous O-line continued to be penetrated (That’s what she said!) as Rodgers was sacked six times, increasing his NFL-high sack total to 37 in eight games.

In other news….

Hours after the game, fans decided to Google search “Aaron Rodgers getting sacked” and laughed in derision as they browsed though the innumerable pictures of Mr. Rodgers getting destroyed. What’s even more awesome is that LonePlacebo’s very own web page is placed prominently in the top left of the first page of the search query results. Thanks a million, Rodgers. I mean the Packers O-line. Keep up the poor job.

CEO of the Decade? Not even close...

This morning, we learned that Fortune magazine named Steve Jobs as its CEO of the Decade. It is a tremendous honor and much deserving to such an individual. His innovation and brilliance has brought us the incredible iPod, iTunes music store, and iPhone. So what did the Apple CEO had to say about all of this? Luckily, Steve himself was kind enough to spend some of his precious time to write an email to LonePlacebo. Here now is the full, unaltered copy of the message:

Dear LonePlacebo,

As you may know, Fortune magazine decided it was time to name me as their “CEO of the Decade.” They cited my stellar contributions in the music, movie, and mobile telephone industries. Those idiots just barely remembered to mention the fact that I had created the iMac as well, though that name could’ve been sooooo much better.

While I agree with such obvious pieces of evidence as being the reason for me winning such a title, I don’t think they exactly hit the mark. I told myself I wouldn’t get too angry about this but, I have worked my friggin’ ass off this past decade, suffering several bouts with weakened health, and you call me the “CEO of the Decade?!?” I SHOULD BE THE “BEST CEO EV-AH!!!” What must I do to receive the necessary recognition I rightfully deserve?

Towards the end of the article (yes, I indeed read it), the foolish author raised the question of what I had in store next. Well, let me tell you this. What I have coming next, will make me GOD in the eyes of everyone. Let me repeat that so it can sink in. I WILL BE GOD. Mere mortals everywhere will bow down to me in my presence. A new world order is coming. Count on it.

So, you must be dying to know my little secret. Don’t worry. You won’t be disappointed one bit. My next project will venture into the world of search engines. That’s right. Big-man in the ‘hood, Google, has a new partner to dance with. Unfortunately for Google, it will be their final dance.

Now, why the hell would I even consider the prospect of competing with the search engine Goliath known as Google? Look as Microsoft, you say. Look at their Bing and Yahoo! mating. There’s barely any room for Mr. Jeeves, what makes you think Apple can jump in and join the love fest? Well, my simple-minded friend, sometimes you just gotta think differently in life.

Let me get this point across. I respect Google. They do a lot of good things. Really, they do. But with search, they have fallen flat on their face. Yes, that is an outrageous statement. But what is even more outrageous is the fact that when I googled “Why is Steve Jobs so damn sexy?” every single result sent me to various articles stating how “smart” and “innovative” I was. What the hell, Google?!? Are you trying to ruin my chances of getting in bed with all chicks in the world or something? Simply intolerable. Google needed to be punished.

Taking a look at Google’s sacred search engine algorithm (yes, I was able to hack into it), I found a complete and utter mess. It looked like some high school programmer had created it. A piece of garbage. But I knew what I needed to do.

Over those next couple of months, I worked meticulously to perfect my search engine baby. Today, it is complete. I call it, the iKnow. The thing that separates the iKnow from Google, is that it literally knows everything about you and all of mankind’s knowledge. Quite an impressive statement? I understand. But do you really want to know how it is possible? Well, don’t ask the iKnow.

Utilizing the iKnow, you will be capable of entering any question and receiving an instantaneous response. Sounds too much like Google? Not even close. The iKnow, like I said previously, knows everything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Heck, it told me who really killed President Kennedy. Besides being such a know-it-all, the iKnow can personalize each question suited for each particular user. Here, let me explain it in terms comprehensible for your second-grade level brain: If you asked the iKnow what your chances of dating Jessica Alba in the future, it will tell you the answer. If you asked the iKnow if you asked 100 girls to go out with you and how many of them would say yes, the iKnow would know. This above-godly “machine” is literally a time machine, if you know what I mean.

You must be screaming at your Mac’s lovely screen wondering how I, CEO of “the Decade,” could possibly create such a product. Like I have said every single day since I was able to speak, “What I touch, becomes not gold, not diamonds, but magic.”

I would seriously love to divulge to you all the wonderful details of the revolutionary iKnow, but I urgently need to ask it myself why I’m so damn sexy. Believe me, that will be the first question you ask it the first time you use it. Until next time, LonePlacebo.

P.S. Remember to refer to me as GOD the next time, alright? Thanks.

Sincerely,

Steve Jobs, aka GOD

@OGOchoCinco

Twitter Bio: see for yoself/www.rocksoftware.com

@tremendousnews

Twitter Bio: Don’t follow me if you’re really-really smart. You know when your math teacher asked you to carry the 1? I still don’t know what that means.

@shitmydadsays

Twitter Bio: I’m 29. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says

@thejoelstein

Twitter Bio: I am neither important enough nor unimportant enough to do this.

Electronic Art’s much anticipated RTS classic Command & Conquer: Red Alert arrived at the App Store today, retailing for $9.99. A lot of questions were raised prior to its release regarding the game’s controls on a touch screen device. Based on early App Store reviews averaging at 4 and 1/2 stars, the issue does not appear to be a concern.

In the game, you choose to fight either with the Soviets for world domination or side with the Allies to restore peace. Form your army and plan your attacks to carry out your campaign. There are 12 combat levels to play through including a Skirmish mode containing two battlefield maps.

Upcoming features include free multiplayer via wifi or bluetooth. In addition, there will also be an Empire of the Rising Sun expansion pack that you can get for an extra small fee.

Check out the game on iTunes.

“Hey, where the hell is the toilet paper?”

Having relieved yourself after eating that god-awful Sloppy Joes for dinner, you reach toward the toilet paper dispenser. There is no more toilet paper! Oh, the horror!  Only the cold, brown tube remains, mocking your hilarious dilemma. Eyeing to and fro looking for any possible solution, you begin to panic. What the hell do I do? Will someone come in and rescue me? Do I have to call my roommate to ask him to get me some toilet paper?

“Hello?

Dude! I’m in a reeeeaaallly tough spot. A really tough stinky spot to be exact!

What are you talking about, man?

I’m in the bathroom, I just took a crap and there is no toilet paper!

(Laughs out loud uncontrollably for a good five minutes)

You’re a sad idiot, you know?

Yea, yea, just help me out alright?

Wait, hold up. My girlfriend is on the other line.

No, no, no! Get me outta here first! Don’t you understand my dire situation? Hello? Are you there?

Fortunately, I have managed to avert such a tragic situation in my suite’s bathroom thus far (knock on wood). However, sharing the same two toilets with ten other guys can mean a trip to the bathroom one would want to forget at any given moment. I shudder at the thought of it ever occurring.

I have to buy my own scantrons? What the hell?

“Remember, for the midterm on Thursday, you need to bring a scantron to the exam. I won’t have any for you,” my professor reminded us last week. Having paid ridiculous sums of money for tuition and housing, with the sum likely to increase next year, the one thing I would expect the school to do is to provide students with the necessary test-taking materials at no cost whatsoever. Don’t you agree?

Worst of all, when I went to the school’s bookstore to purchase the scantrons, I was confronted with six different versions to choose from. My teacher had not told me which one I would need. FML.

The bathroom is cleaned…once a week

I cannot begin to describe the horrid stench that perpetually pervades the bathroom. Not even several whiffs of Glade (the air freshener)  would do you any good. The smell would always inevitably come back.

Holding your breath throughout a trip to the bathroom is equivalent to a Herculean feat. It simply cannot be done.

I wonder what the girls’ bathroom smells like?

Cafeteria food: They have there good days and bad days

Garlic bread, spaghetti, vegetables, and more garlic bread. Oh, yea. There’s also that ridiculously awful pizza offered every day, but it’s for emergencies only really.

The school must really be trying to cut back on the cost of food. Why else do they serve that friggin’ garlic bread at almost every station. My mouth even tastes like garlic bread at this moment and I haven’t eaten it since Friday.

Taking exams like packed sardines

The surface of my desk is approximately 10 inches by 13 inches. That’s about enough room to fit an 8 1/2″ X 11″ sheet of paper, a 5 1/2″ X 11″ scantron (placed on top of the sheet of paper), a pen/ pencil and eraser, and some Barry Bonds baseball cards. Well, at least that’s what the administrators of my cherished school must’ve thought.

So what heinous crime has your school of higher learning committed during your stay?

If you want to make money running a website or blog, convention says that one of the most reliable methods is to display advertisements on your web pages. One useful tool for accomplishing this task is Google’s popular Google AdSense. Unfortunately as a WordPress.com user, I am locked out of the luxuries and riches that come with Google AdSense.

The fine people at WordPress smartly concluded that such basic people like me could not be trusted with the opportunity to make money and created a barrier in the form of WordPress.org. Worst of all, they restricted the use of javascript (I have no idea what javascript is exactly beyond the fact that it’s anything that moves fanatically on a web page, but it makes me feel smart when I use that word. You should try it too sometimes!)

Thus, if you possess a self-hosted WordPress blog, then I am not your friend. On the other hand, those of you who must painfully suffer like me as they try to spell out their ridiculously long “yourdomainname.wordpress.com” url to your hilarious friends, then the green times ($$$) are imminent. Continue reading if you want to be rich. Don’t press read more if you are too rich already.

Ahhhhhhhhh….. My friend, you understand the importance of seeing the green. We have a lot in common.

The following methods provided generously below is not scientifically proven to generate massive cash flows to your barren Wells Fargo bank account. Please use at your own discretion.

PayPal wants YOU to give me all your money!

Have you ever noticed one of these images that sit on blogs’ contact or about page demanding that you give them money? Well, that’s method one toward our road to riches, my friend. Utilizing PayPal, you can produce a comparable button that you can plaster onto your own blog or website. Here’s how to get that beautiful button:

1. Go to PayPal’s website and login or create an account if you haven’t already. You must have a Premier (For individuals who buy and sell online) or a Business (For merchants who use a company or group name) account.
2. Click on Merchant Services.
3. Click on the Donate link under the Create Buttons heading.
4. From here, you can specify the Donation options such as setting the appropriate currency, the email address to receive the payments and the donor’s payment method.
5. Next, you can customize the look of your Donation button. If you don’t like the default button, you can use your own image by entering the image’s url.
6. Click on Create Button.
7. PayPal will present the button’s code in the two forms: website code or email code. Here, you will find the common barrier formed by WordPress.com in that the website option contains a code that will not be displayed for reasons that may or may not be linked to possible future terrorist attacks on the internet. (Specifically, it is the <form> tag). Thus, you must use the Email code.
8. Now, do not close the current window or at least save the email link code elsewhere. Go to your WordPress dashboard and open a new post or page and enter the HTML editor.
9. Here you must paste an image for your button. Because I’m so damn dedicated to serving my disloyal readers, here is a compilation of Donate images you can choose from.

10. Go to Visual editor and you should see the image you selected.
11. Copy the link from the Email code you found from Step 7. Click on the image you pasted on your post or page and click on the link button on the Visual Editor to add a link from the image. Paste the Email code link here.
12. Complete…at last. Let the money flow!

For those of you who are visual learners and/or illiterate, you can view this useful how-to video of the same procedure:

Charge Guest Bloggers Fees to Post on Your “Highly Successful Blog”

Guest posts are a nice addition to any blog. For one, it signifies that your blog has reached a level of success. For the post contributer, he/she hopes to get their voice heard by a large audience who might find their unbelievable knowledge compelling enough to click on a link to their site.

However, convention likes to often point out in his annoying way that guest posts are typically free-of-charge to the contributer. If the material is sufficiently up to par in the eyes of the blog owner, then the guest post will be published at no charge. How come? Because the blog owner will be able to maintain the desired flow of regular content on the site and readers will think more highly of the blog.

Wow! LonePlacebo got some dude from Mashable to contribute a post?! LonePlacebo is the bomb! If that dude from Mashable wrote for LP, this garbage I’ve been reading here must have some value after all!

So, unless you can point to statistics that show 100K+ daily page views on your site, it will be hard to convince people to pay you a fee to contribute a post. But, like convention once-in-a-while correctly states, “Never say never.”

Sell stuff to readers

Not that kind of stuff you sick minded pervert. I’m talking about eBooks. Yes, let that sink in. Alright, let’s continue.

Yes, of course, this is by far the most time-consuming step listed here, but it has the potential to reap you untold amounts of beautiful benjamins sitting in your wallet(s).

Stare at this picture looooooong and hard....That's what she said

If you’re passionate about writing and could talk endlessly about any relevant interest you hold, then you’ve completed half of the work. My advice would be to first offer free downloads to the first eBook(s) you create. Therefore, readers will gain more trust in you and would be more willing to purchase any future eBooks of yours. It’s important to establish that relationship with the readers and maintain it so that they will continue to reach into their mother’s purse hunting for a credit card and rewarding you handsomely.

On a similar note, you can try publishing only an excerpt of your eBook for all to view and offer readers the option to pay a fee if they would like to read the rest of the content. Who doesn’t like to sample a product before they decide to purchase?

Selling Links= Big no-no?

Not unless you’re desperately trying to squeeze out every penny you can pocket and don’t give a damn about Google’s impressions of your blog. Think about it. Having established a world-renowned site, people everywhere are begging you constantly to help drive some traffic to their sites.

Hey, LonePlacebo! Nice site you got goin’ here. I’m really impressed with wha–

Alright, cut the crap. You want me to link to your blog, right?

Why, uhhh, yes! I’m really in a funk right now. I barely average twenty page views a day and no one has commented on the site in three months. The last person to comment was my mom…

You’re pathetic you know that? But since I like the feelin’ of seeing green wherever I look, I think we can get something done.

Really!? You would really do that for me? Are you gonna put my blog about air fresheners on your awesome blogroll?

A blog about air fresheners? What the hell? What is this world coming to? Never mind that….So, here is the question. How much are you willing to sacrifice to acquire what you seek?

Uh, uh, I-I-I will uh, let you go out with my super hot girlfriend for one night!

Hmmmmmm…lemme see a photo of her……..Why! My friend! My friend-with-a-supermodel-for-a-wife friend! We have a deal!

Alright! You’re too awesome LonePlacebo! How could I ever thank you?

Save the praise for later. Now, what’s my new girlfriend’s name?

Huh? He-e-y, wait a minute now!

Have any fantastic money-making secrets of your own? Share them with the world!

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