Home > A for Awesomeness > Comebacks


Ever been embarrassed after someone’s remark left you unable to quickly respond with a witty reply? Look no further than right here! Inspired by a recently televised rerun of Seinfeld, I have come up with a list of original (I hope) comebacks that we leave your enemies dumbstruck.

1. Trying to look cool, eh?
Comeback: Nah, man. I don’t have to. I’m already cool.

2. Dude, there is a hole in your shirt.
Comeback: Oh, rrrriiiiggggghhhhttt! That was some wild night with your wife last night.

3. Officer: Do you know how fast you were driving, sir?
Comeback: Not fast enough, apparently! (Pause) Damn beer!

4. Store Clerk: Sorry, sir. But we can only accept ones.
Comeback: Stop discriminating, man! It’s against the law!

5. Did you just fart?
Comeback: Sorry, I burped from my ass.

6. Ugly girl: Did you just touch my ass?
ComebackThat thing? I wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole!

7. Dude, you have a pimple on your neck.
Comeback: Nah, man. That’s a hickey I got from your girlfriend!

8. Why do you want my phone number so badly?
Comeback: So I can talk to you without having to see your ugly face, of course.

9. You just stepped on some dog crap.
Comeback: Here, let me show you what it looks like on your shoes.

10. Man, I’m a genius. Mr. Smith just gave me an A on my essay!
Comeback: Oh, rrrriiiigggghhhttt! Your essay about how hard it is to be an idiot!

Got some amazing comebacks of your own? Share it with the world!

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