Home > A for Awesomeness > The Best Chuck Norris Facts Ever

The Best Chuck Norris Facts Ever

What a badass

What a badass

  1. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they are called The Islands
  2. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
  3. If Chuck Norris has five dollars and you have five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  4. There is no “Ctrl” button on Chuck Norris’ computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
  5. The only hand that can beat the Royal Flush is Chuck Norris’ hand.
  6. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends only blank forms and a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had not pay his taxes, ever.
  7. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
  8. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  9. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  10. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
  11. When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer. You will score over 8000.
  12. Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
  13. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pie.
  14. Count from one to ten. That’s how long it takes Chuck Norris to kill you… Forty-seven times.
  15. Chuck Norris is not politically correct. He is just correct. Always.
  16. Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting … because he is not acting.
  17. When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
  18. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
  19. Those aren’t the credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
  20. Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
  21. Chuck Norris’ pulse is measured on the richter scale.
  22. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  23. In an average living room, there are 1,242 objects that Chuck Norris can kill you with. Including the room itself.
  24. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
  25. Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

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(Image Source: The Art of Manliness)

  1. November 24, 2009 at 3:48 AM

    Outstanding Article , I thought it was extraordinary

    I look forward to more great postings like this one. Does Your Blog have a subscription I can subscribe to for updates?

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