The Best Chuck Norris Facts Ever
- Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they are called The Islands
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
- If Chuck Norris has five dollars and you have five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
- There is no “Ctrl” button on Chuck Norris’ computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
- The only hand that can beat the Royal Flush is Chuck Norris’ hand.
- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends only blank forms and a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had not pay his taxes, ever.
- Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
- Chuck Norris is the only man to ever beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
- When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer. You will score over 8000.
- Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
- Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pie.
- Count from one to ten. That’s how long it takes Chuck Norris to kill you… Forty-seven times.
- Chuck Norris is not politically correct. He is just correct. Always.
- Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting … because he is not acting.
- When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
- Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
- Those aren’t the credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
- Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
- Chuck Norris’ pulse is measured on the richter scale.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- In an average living room, there are 1,242 objects that Chuck Norris can kill you with. Including the room itself.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
- Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
(Image Source: The Art of Manliness)