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Five Things I Hate About College

November 1, 2009 6 comments

toilet-paper-

“Hey, where the hell is the toilet paper?”

Having relieved yourself after eating that god-awful Sloppy Joes for dinner, you reach toward the toilet paper dispenser. There is no more toilet paper! Oh, the horror!  Only the cold, brown tube remains, mocking your hilarious dilemma. Eyeing to and fro looking for any possible solution, you begin to panic. What the hell do I do? Will someone come in and rescue me? Do I have to call my roommate to ask him to get me some toilet paper?

“Hello?

Dude! I’m in a reeeeaaallly tough spot. A really tough stinky spot to be exact!

What are you talking about, man?

I’m in the bathroom, I just took a crap and there is no toilet paper!

(Laughs out loud uncontrollably for a good five minutes)

You’re a sad idiot, you know?

Yea, yea, just help me out alright?

Wait, hold up. My girlfriend is on the other line.

No, no, no! Get me outta here first! Don’t you understand my dire situation? Hello? Are you there?

Fortunately, I have managed to avert such a tragic situation in my suite’s bathroom thus far (knock on wood). However, sharing the same two toilets with ten other guys can mean a trip to the bathroom one would want to forget at any given moment. I shudder at the thought of it ever occurring.

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5 Things That Annoy Me

September 17, 2009 Leave a comment

ned flanders

  1. Walking behind slow people – There is nothing worse than driving behind a lost driver than walking behind someone taking a leisurely stroll without a care in the world. You try not to show your impatience but you barely avoid tearing out the idiot’s heart out with your bare fist and eating it whole.
  2. Twitter users who tweet the number of followers they are about to reach – “OMG guys! Just 3 more followers and I will be at 100!!!!!!” It’s like he/she is mocking your pathetic 20-plus followers(half of which are spam bots). Give me a break, man! I don’t give a damn! Where’s that unfollow button by the way?idiots
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The Library is After Me!

September 11, 2009 2 comments

naruto vol. 15

About two months ago, as I was checking out some books at the local library, the librarian asked me that a borrowed copy of Naruto Vol. 15 was overdue and still not returned. I shrugged, not knowing what happened to it thinking that maybe it was just lying around somewhere at home. No luck there however. I then wondered, did I ever borrow that book? Why is it so unfamiliar to me? Nevertheless, the book was still registered on my library card as being checked out. Being the procrastinator and hating to deal with tedious matters, I simply renewed the book and the due date was pushed back an additional three weeks. Nothing better than sweeping some dirt under the rug.

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